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The five qualities of a
soul mate:
You can almost always spot soul-mates,
because they make each other MORE POWERFUL as a TEAM than they were
APART! This is the FIRST way to spot your soul mate.
If you are in a relationship, and you're
having to rationalize how much this other person helps you (or hinders
you) then they are NOT your soul mate. It's like two gloves of different
shapes, purpose, and sizes. You can put them together, but they just
don't look or work as good. Put two large handyman gloves together for
the workman, or put two gardening size smalls together for the woman in
the garden club, and now you
can get some work done!
Take the word soul, add the definition with
the definition for mate, and you've got a strong definition of a soul
mate: "the core spiritual nature, immortal,
inseparable even from death, mated to be together."
Considering this definition, let us also
consider the SECOND way to SPOT your SOUL MATE: they are BOTH AWARE of
their SPIRITUAL NATURE. In MOST (I say most, because not all people
acknowledge God publicly in the same way I do) cases, these two will
have their eyes FIRST upon GOD, SECOND upon EACH OTHER, THIRD upon THEIR
PURPOSE TOGETHER. Their family, career, and other things will always
follow in some priority after these three.
The THIRD WAY to spot a soul mate is
to recognize how the JOURNEYS of the two INTERRELATE. All Soul mates are
on a spiritual life journey. These journeys, when the souls coincide for
maximum impact, almost always run parallel or coincide in such as way
that that creates a relationship as much or more about the union,
or the team, as the individual.
This is
the THIRD way to SPOT A SOUL MATE: they put the
team/partnership journey above their individual journey and desires. In the case
of the woman and the man above, the choices are not so painful, as their
joint purpose and joint relationship is going to support the
individual's dream. The reason for this is that the individual's dream
is complementary to the union in a soul mate relationship. At the
same time, the relationship works in a way that each person's individual
journey is fully supported. With soul mates, there is trust and respect.
With trust and respect comes the ability to realize aspirations - both
as a couple and as individuals.
The FOURTH way to SPOT YOUR SOUL MATE is to
recognize how each partner (mate) brings real love into the other's life. If a person does not
bring real love to you, but instead causes significant conflict, grief,
angst, lack, and failure, then it is highly unlikely that this person is
your soul mate. A soul mate helps to awaken
your soul and makes it easier for you to learn the lessons you are meant
to learn. A key difference is that the soul mate is not the lesson, they
help you learn your lessons and support that growing process! The other
relationships usually ARE the lesson and make it difficult to learn
(especially when the participants are on a relationship merry-go-round
of dysfunctional relationships).
Are you someone who is frustrated with searching
high and low trying to find this soul mate, so much that you're starting
to give up and feel it is a myth? You are not alone. However, there is
hope for you in the faith of your clarity in the purpose of your mission. In
the law of attraction, we must send out the thought and be something in
HARMONY in order to connect with what or who we seek. This is the FIFTH way to SPOT YOUR SOUL MATE: there are HARMONIOUS and COMPLEMENTARY
NATURES between the two mated people.
Sometimes, when people are coming from
ego, rather than spirit, the relationship becomes about what you have
(possessions) rather than who, or who, you are (experiences). Soul mates
are about experiences far more than possessions. Because you cannot take
your possessions with you. Your spirit DOES NOT OWN your POSSESSIONS.
But your spirit DOES OWN your EXPERIENCES.
Do you seek someone happy, fun, honest, and
loyal as your soul mate? Then, are you happy? Are you fun? Do you
maintain integrity in your relationships? How loyal are you to people
you date? Be what you seek - or be complementary to what you seek - and
you will be READY to ATTRACT what you seek: your own soul mate!
Key questions for the soul mate seeker:
Key question #1 "Are you spending
more or equal time on improving and being the complete person you need to be to attract this
soul mate to join you in your journey?"
If the answer is "no," then you
most likely need to grow, improve, and learn to love you in ways that
match your soul mate in order to be ready to attract them to you.
Another way to word this question is,
"Are you being someone complementary to what you seek to
attract?"
Key question #2: "Which is more of
a fate process: seeking and not finding, or giving up seeking and then
just getting what life deals us?"
A proactive process is more likely to unveil
our soul mate than a reactive process.
Key question #3: "Is a soul-mate
connection defined by a bolt of lightening, signs, or other unnatural
phenomenon?"
Phenomenon is exciting, but check the
other criteria before trusting in "signs" of this nature.
Key question #4: "Is our soul mate
perfect? Will our soul mate match our ideal mate?"
"Perfect" to a soul mate means
"highly complementary." No human is perfect. Neither is your
soul mate.
Key question #5: "Can we apply the
criteria of checking to see how a potential soul mate impacts: a) our
life improvement, b) spiritual synchronicity, c) complementary
companion, and d) in harmony with our own self to recognizing our own
potential soul mate?
Apply this criteria to your own
relationships and see how they improve.
Key question #6: "Is it possible
that our soul mate, while possessing a strong magnetic attraction, may
not be obvious to us at first?"
Now, if you have chosen a mate based on
criteria other than that defined for soul mates, that does not mean that you ought to
abandon your commitment to your partner. After all, you did choose them
and CAN make life rewarding, loving, and happy through how you grow
together. We ought to honor our commitments. My suggestion for people who feel they are in this situation
is to evaluate and look at ways to build upon their spiritual
synchronicity, evaluate how to create a complementary team spirit
together, and learn how to support building a harmonic atmosphere of trust, respect,
fun, romance, support, and
loyalty.
Key question #7: "Did you meet your partner when you
weren't looking?"
In fact, most people go
about relationships similar to their career: they give up on their
spirit's dream and take what life deals them - a reactive mode, at
best. My philosophy about relationships, just as in careers, is not about being reactive, it is about being proactive. This
is why over eighty percent of people report that they are unhappy with
their career, and why over fifty percent of first time marriages fail
and over seventy percent of second marriages fail. They make choices
reactively, rather than proactively. Those who are proactive report much
higher percentages of success in both career and relationships.
Some people CAN make a non-soul mate relationship work as much as they
can a soul mate relationship. Although, in most cases, a soul mate will
make you better, stronger, fully realizing your purpose, because it is
in synchronicity with your spiritual purpose. It is like the story of
the quail, who mate for life to just one mate, versus the story of other
birds.
The mature soul-mate seeker is searching for the
partner who will make them better together than they were apart. The
person who understands them, takes time, and puts the union above the
individual. Connection is spiritual, and that high would be exciting,
but that is not the driving force behind the mature seeker's cause. The
magic connection is simply the icing on the cake.
Key question #8: "Do both soul mates and
life mates have a choice in the matter?"
This age-old philosophical debate is a
topic for another chapter on this subject! But I do believe that life is
about choices. If you make a choice for settling, what does that do to
your chances of being available for your soul mate when you might meet
them?
Key question #9: If a person gave
up on their search for a soul mate and instead chose an infatuation
or life partner,
how can they judge their choice as more fulfilling and
attainable than the soul mate choice when they have not experienced a
soul mate paring?
Where and who do you go to for role
models? Seek out soul mate role models that inspire you in your journey.
What we focus on is what we are more likely to attract.
Other important questions:
Exactly what is it the soul mate seeker
and life mate seeker is seeking? Is it intimacy or something else?
Is that thing they seek supposed to be instant? Or is it based upon
heaven or something else, such as physiological features (shape,
smell, beauty, etc.)?
To recap, you can spot a
soul mate relationship by the following:
1. They make each other MORE POWERFUL as a TEAM than they were
APART.
2. They recognize their spiritual
essence. Most often you will see them put their eyes FIRST upon God,
SECOND upon each other, THIRD upon their purpose. These core priorities
almost always rise to the surface with soul-mates.
3. They put the
team/partnership ABOVE their individual journey and desires.
4. They are not the lesson; rather, they
help each other learn and grow through their respective and mutual life
lessons. They support and help the other build and GROW LOVE together
and create an atmosphere of harmony. They grow from experiencing
life together.
5. They are (or were), themselves,
someone complementary to what they seek (sought) to attract.
Additional perspectives on
soul-mates can be found at:
http://www.aspirenow.com/smooth_12_00_is_he_the_one.htm
Please
note: the author of this article may not be certified as a
licensed psychotherapist -- please consult professional assistance as your
situation dictates.
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