Finding Love, 6/00

Abundance Awaits You . . . News | Events | About Us | Home

Smooth Sailing

"Finding Love Anywhere"
By Scott Andrews, Founder. All Rights Reserved.

Singles frequently talk about finding "true love" -- especially when they are in an unsatisfying relationship.

A recent study showed that most people would be willing to give up over 6 months salary to find their "true love". In some cases, this could be quite a bit of money.

How many people know where to meet someone, though? In many bookstores you can find dozens of books about finding love or dating for success. John Gray has made boatloads of money with his "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" books. Why?

Fact is, just about everyone wants to know where to go to find our true love and have better relationships.  Recently, I came across some interesting statisticss that shed light on this situation. According to University of Chicago researcher Dr. Edward Lauman, here is how we meet our significant other:

    23% meet at school

    15% meet at work

    10% meet at a private party

    8% meet at a bar

    8% meet at a church or synagogue

    4% meet at the gym

    <1% meet through personal ads

These stats may have changed slightly with the recent popularity of AOL, chat rooms and internet dating. I know of several people who've met on-line. However, the interesting stat, to me, is that almost 30% of the remaining people met OTHER ways! In other words, they met doing something they LOVE. Whether that's swing dancing, listening to music at a concert, volunteering for a charity or meeting at the grocery store - people meet many ways. Upon seeing this I decided that if you were to replace the environment you have at school, you will have the highest likelihood of meeting someone you like.   So, perhaps taking a class or lessons or studying a new subject where other people around your age and socio-economic background are likely to hang out and the odds will be higher.

So how do we meet someone? I look at it as catching a wild animal (call it a cat, if that helps). There are at least two ways you could go about catching a wild cat. One method is to chase after the cat and try to catch it by pouncing on it -- likely to scare the cat away and make it a little more jittery the next time it sees you.   This method is unlikely to create success and more likely to leave you feeling frustrated and alone.

The other method is to go where the wild cats are, offer the cat some fish or catnip and wait quietly, enjoying where you are without worrying about whether or not you catch the cat. It may seem like it is taking longer - but this is deceiving, as you are relaxing and enjoying where you are. After a while, when you are relaxed, quiet, and comfortable, the cat may start to check you out. As the cat learns you are safe and have treats for them, they'll be eating out of your hand. Once the word travels, you may even have your choice of several "cats".

Another method is to confidently approach the cat you want and offer it the milk you offer. A friend of mine claims that if you do not seize the world you're just a lamb and waiting for your slaughter. It works for him, as in general a man is still expected to be the person who approaches a woman (with confidence, preferably).

The real trick, though, to finding love anywhere, is to simply send love out, without expectation, wherever we go. Sending out unconditional love, as a regular practice, is sure to come back to us tenfold. The trick to making money is often spending some. When you buy a new suit you can land that job sometimes just by looking the part. Well, with love it is the same way. When we are able to be confident and loving, the love we seek may come to us.

Click here to go to similar articles in SMOOTH SAILING

See What's New?