With
any venture in life, there are inevitably challenges and rocky times. This
is also true with relationships. Most journeys include peaks as well as
valleys. It is important to recognize when we are in a "peak"
moment in our relationship, and celebrate those small and large victories.
When
was the last time we celebrated our love with someone special?
Many
people get so caught up in the challenges (valleys, climbing the mountain), they
forget to celebrate those special moments (stopping to enjoy the view from the top).
It is important to show our partner that we love them.
How
do you let each other know that you appreciate your love?
Here
are seven initial ways you can boost your love
to a more meaningful and playful
level:
1. Tell
each other "I love you." Say it in a variety of ways.
Expressing our love, verbally, in tone, and physically, are all ways we connect
and reinforce the celebration of love.
2.
Stop and appreciate the things your lover does for you that you've always
wanted. Letting our partner know how and why we love and appreciate them builds
trust. Leave them a little note, or write with your finger or lipstick on the
bathroom mirror.
3.
Listen. So often we get caught up in our own excitement that we forget to
truly listen to what excites, or ignites, our partner's flames of passion for us. If our partner is speaking to
us, why not show them respect by listening with all our heart, soul and mind.
Our mate will recognize our attention and this will increase the feelings of
love.
4. Offer
a gift of love. Gifts of love may be a favor, a chore, a service, or
simply doing something for our love that they might prefer not to do. A
gift of love might be taking the trash out, or massaging our partner's
sore back or feet. It may be taking clothes to the cleaners or cooking
dinner (especially if, most often, they do those types of things for us). Be creative
-- love is about art as well as service. Gifts of
love foster loving memories. Be the "love" fairy and leave a little
something under their pillow.
5.
Spend some really sincere and focused quality time with each other. This is probably the
most important way to show how we love each other. It is said that children know how much you love them by
how much time you spend with them. This statement also applies to our love
relationship, too. Spending time with each other shows that we care.
Being focused and sincere in being "totally there" for our mate is
what makes that time "quality" time. When relationships struggle, it is
often because people stop
spending time doing enjoyable things together. What
brought you together? Why not spend some time doing those things again?
Celebrating our love might be as simple as taking a walk through our past.
Quality time spent with those we love is always time well spent.
6. Do something crazy
together. One of my favorite episodes of a TV series Mad About You, was
the one where Paul and Jamie (a young married couple) went on a cruise.
Rather than be themselves, Paul got this crazy idea to tell everyone
that they had different careers, different names, and act like they just
met. It created a lot of crazy times for them and also a whole new
dynamic of playing together. Do something different, go someplace new,
pretend you're someone else for a day or a weekend.
7. Make love some place
different. How often does love get stagnant and you hear someone say
"well, we're just doing it the same places, the same ways." I was
watching a Chris Rock video last night, and he said marriage was boring,
because you never got the same type of wild sex in the back of a rental
car any more. Well, he has a point. But if you decide to get a little
adventurous, do it someplace new, in a new position, or at a different
time. Spice things up a bit. Bring in a toy or a new method of foreplay.
Wear something spicy. You just never know how your partner will respond.
Featured advertisements:
Do you have a question relating to Boosting your love?
Check out the
AspireNow Advisor - solutions to questions for only $29.95.
Note: We've just added a new booklet
31 Secrets of Millionaire Superstars, only
$9.95 for a limited time. Visit our Products
Store for more information.
Woman:
learn about how to be the woman that men never leave.
Get
3,000 TV Stations for just $49.95.
OH? You want more? Okay,
have you tried those methods? Here are ten MORE ways we can do
something together to celebrate our love:
1.
Take a trip together. It doesn't have to be Paris or the Caribbean to be a
celebration, but celebrate in ways you can. A trip can be as simple as a
trip to the zoo, or a trip to Maui. The choice is yours. Just make
sure the priority is each other, not working around business schedules or other
demands of life.
2.
Watch a sunrise or sunset together. Sunrises and sunsets hold special
moments, as they signify the passing of our time together. An ocean sunset
is especially meaningful as a perfect time to say "I love you" and kiss
each other as an appreciation of love, just as the sun drops into the sea to end
the day.
3.
Make love -- consider special ways to honor this experience, such as sprinkling
the bed with rose petals, or lighting a special candle, or perhaps wearing
something new and sexy for each other. Focus on each other's pleasure and
don't worry about your own pleasure.
4.
Enjoy a picnic together. Picnics can be so much fun. Sometimes,
picnics can be combined with other activities, such as painting, playing music,
or photography. Picnics can be as simple as making sandwiches and throwing
down a blanket in a park, or as elaborate as choosing a theme and acting the
part. The point is not to make it complicated - it is to make it
fun. Whatever will create a "celebration moment" is the key, and
spending time with a simple plan or a complex one is still spending time
together.
5.
Taking the one we love to a movie, concert, or theatrical production can be a
wonderful way to create a celebration of our love. If there is an element
of "dressing up" then you get an opportunity to show your love, in a
physical way, how you appreciate them, and also enjoy an artistic activity.
6.
Having a nice dinner together. This is one of the most simple and easy
ways to celebrate our love. Whether cooked at home, or dining out casually
or in an upscale environment, sharing food and drink is one of the most basic
ways people bond with each other. Spending time with our special love over
dinner can help us reconnect and enjoy the simple pleasures of living together.
7.
Dance. Whether at home by the stereo, in a dance studio, or at a club
where live music and dancing are featured, dancing is a great way to express our
physical appreciation with each other. Love, like dance, is an artful
expression of emotion, body, mind, and soul.
We might feel awkward dancing, but just holding our partner close to us while a
special song plays on the radio might be a way to say "I love you" to
boost your love. Taking a dance class can be one way to build that intimacy in
whole new ways from moving together.
8.
Get away. Road trips, camping, or day trips away for the fun of it can
really be a good way to celebrate and spend time together. It is important
to keep celebration, and ways to celebrate, as the topic so that when you see
that cute photo opportunity on the side of the road, you capture the
moment. Unplanned getaways keep our spontaneity alive.
9.
Write our love a poem or love letter. Consider writing by hand. In
this day and age of emails, the gift of letter writing is often a lost art (see Postmodernism,
part II). In our love letter, it is important to greet in a way to
signify our affection. It is also important to express, in writing, the
ways we
love our partner. A good way to be poetic is to use metaphor or
simile. If you aren't sure how to do this, take a trip to the library or
look up keywords "metaphor" in a browser and discover the world of
language.
10.
Do something fun together. This is another time to use our creativity. What do you call
fun? A trip to the library, browsing through old books?
Bowling? Skiing? Going on a hike? An afternoon of tea or a
morning of quiet conversation over coffee? Each of these moments can be
celebrations of our love.
We
must take time to enjoy our love successes. We can create special
love celebrations by cherishing each moment of special time with each other (each
day). We can also demonstrate how we appreciate each other by showing respect and
love. Last, when we take time and spend
the effort to truly celebrate our successes in love, our life is more meaningful
and our love remains rich and strong. Love is the meaning
of life. We might as well love large, and live large.
Please
note: although the author of this article provides coaching on relationships to numerous
people; however, the author is not certified as a licensed
psychotherapist -- please consult professional assistance as your situation
dictates.
________________________________________________________________________________________
