First, I'll describe communication tactics that stall relationships:

1. Baiting. Giving our partner a trap to fall into, then calling them/using the trap against them when they bite on the bait.

2. Sarcasm. This is a natural sense of humor for some; however, when used in place of normal communication leaves partner feeling torn and ripped on (thus, my term Jurassic Communication).

3. Flooding. This is one person feels they aren't heard, so they rant on and on in effort to get heard. The person flooding, whether in the right or not, creates a problem because they are now communicating "out of power" and not in respect for the other person.

4. Stonewalling. Stonewalling is when rather than responding or reassuring a partner, the stonewaller "retreats" behind a wall of silence; in effect, saying nothing. As a result, the partner is left unresolved and out of sorts while the stonewaller tries to either gain their composure - or competitive advantage.

5. Interrupting. If someone is speaking and hasn't finished a thought, yet the other party interjects and talks over them, the interruption is a disruption to the relationship. Interrupting is disrespectful, as a person should be allowed to complete a thought once they began it. That is, unless they are endless-storytelling, which is another sign of disrespect that only allows interruption to get a word in edgewise.

6. Endless story-telling. The endless story-teller is best recognized by someone who leaves a sentence incomplete, takes another deep breath (if they breathe at all), and then uses the word "AND" to continue their conversation without ever letting you speak. Endless story-tellers make it difficult to communicate unless you interrupt, which is disrespectful requiring further disrespect to converse.

7. Yelling at someone. Yelling directly at someone rarely accomplishes the task. And, if it does accomplish the task once, it is less likely to work in the future. Yelling simply raises the noise and blood-pressure, making it difficult to be heard or difficult to care.

8. Apologizing too much/not enough.. Constant apologizing is a weak, out-of-power form of communication. People often find this happening when relationships are self-sabotaging, one partner starts apologizing, the other takes a high road. Yes, apologizing -- when wrong -- is appropriate. However, it is rare that one person is always wrong and the other always right. So, if you find yourself apologizing for every little thing, even things that feel in your gut right, then you might be communicating from weakness rather than power. Not apologizing when wrong leads to resentment. If you've been out of line in your communication, an apology may improve the recovery.

9. Emotional blackmail.

10. Incessant whining. Do you want to have your best friend call you on the phone and complain about their day, complain about things they can fix, complain about their job, the weather, or whatever else? Usually, we want to hear people share positive news. People who whine, or complain, about all sorts of little things are usually suffering from a "lack-attack" which attracts more lack.

11. Gossip. Talking behind someone's back in a negative manner is likely to produce resentment and mistrust.

12. Jealousy. If our partner is trustworthy, but treated in a jealous manner, we are likely to undermine the trust of the relationship. Mistrust and jealousy are two of the most common causes of breakups.

13. Issue avoidance. This type of communication just assumes that if we don't discuss or act upon a problem, it will go away. You know what they say about assuming.

14. Affair. Having an affair goes beyond issue avoidance. Affairs not only avoid the problems in communication in the current relationship, but they add on a new problem by building another relationship when no real foundation for a new relationship exists. Relationships started from affairs have a lower rate of success and they do not resolve the communication problem between you. Also, affairs for are committed for various reasons: lust, boredom, lack of feeling wanted, mistrust, or as paybacks for an affair by the other partner.

15. Ridicule. Mocking and ridicule is not a healthy way to get our partner to love us more. Mocking and ridicule are disrespectful and lead to loss of love and lower trust.

16. Ignoring/not listening. Some people either love the sound of their own voice so much or simply do not listen as well as others. It is important to pay attention to our partner so they can be heard and respected.

17. Guilt and manipulation. Intentionally saying something to hurt another, or lay a guilt trip upon them is sometimes effective (temporarily) but results in longer-term resentment.

18. Blame. Blame shifts problems from our self onto our partner. We both must own our own problems and challenges and respect that the other person is owning theirs and working on it.

19. Insulting/name-calling. Insulting and calling names, however clever they may seem at the time, are usually a result of anger dealt with improperly. Insulting and name-calling build resentment and create loss of love.