Now, men, before you freak out,
this article isn't about "what men want women to want" but more rather what
women actually want from men. I've
noticed that a woman will want to tell every little nuance of a story, where
their male counterpart might be feeling like, "ok, what's the point?"
A man typically seeks a solution
to the problem, as if the story was a problem. Or, he's looking for a way
to suggest something to help his woman improve, which is based upon competitive
thinking (how men relate in conversation is much more competitive). In
fact, a woman often is just relating this story to SHARE with him; there isn't
anything competitive about it.
what do women really want from their man?
top 6 things women want FROM MEN, in order, are:
Women want men who exhibit confidence (or power)
Women want men with a sense of humor (fun)
Women want men with money or the things money can buy (sense of security)
Women want men with looks (protection and attraction)
Women want men with a bit of "Bad boy" qualities (mysterious and
Women want all the other stuff they typically list (varies - sensitive, caring, etc.)
in interviewing countless women, and receiving numerous pointers from women
(after all, I AM a MAN!) I must say that there is an expanded list for us guys
to get familiar with, according to women. So, what is the expanded list? Men can get what they want from women much more frequently when
they approach women
with a few simple - yet effective - guidelines:
Women want a man to be confident! Confidence is the number one quality
women look for. Don't be wimpy. Don't apologize for
everything. Be real. Be you.
Women want a man who makes her feel like she's the only one. Women go nuts over a man who will go the extra mile.
For example, he opens
the door for her, he walks on the right side of the street, he helps her
shop. I'm talking about being a GENTLEMAN! If she is cold, offer her
your jacket. If she is in trouble, protect her. If there is danger,
put your arm around her. Be a real man.
Women want a man with a sense of humor. A
woman will almost always love a man who can make her laugh. If you
are dull, you are boring. If you make a woman laugh, you're halfway
home. Take a chance, be real, but be funny. There are several seduction
experts who claim that being "cocky" and "funny" are the two most important
qualities to attracting a woman. I agree.
Women want a man to listen to them (yes, even to the gripes and details of all the
craziness) and not necessarily give advice. Many women love to
their problems; however, they complain not to receive advice, but merely to
sound off. I know it's hard to nod and be supportive, because you
want to watch ESPN or do something that to you may seem more exciting, but the fact is, your woman
will go to the ends of the earth to love you when you truly listen to them and
acknowledge their needs. You
need to understand that women need to VENT. Allow her this, and she'll
allow you in. Nod. Get involved and provide active listening
Be truly interested in what she is saying without worrying about what you're
going to say next. Then, watch what happens as your woman opens up to you
want men to listen to them, because they have a need to be heard. And,
women want their man to express his
feelings and trust her with his intimate side. Real listening, with real intimacy, is
rare. Real listening is suspending thinking about what to say and being
deeply engaged in what she is talking about. Listening requires
actively paying attention -- shutting off the chatter mind.
Women want men to treat them like they are the sexiest woman on the planet and that
no other woman compares. Talking about your ex-girlfriends is not going to
score big points with your new woman. Treating her like she's the ONLY one
will make her smile for quite a while.
Women want loyal men. Women want to know you will be faithful. Don't tell a woman how you
cheated on your ex. It won't make her think you are wise, loyal, or
trustworthy. I'm not saying to lie to her -- just don't go there. Don't cheat on your woman. She will not think you are a better man for
doing this. Just like you want think you are the only man she's ever
loved, well, that's the thing she wants, too. The key to faithfulness comes from
your own inner character. Be a man of character and you will reap a
relationship built upon trust. You gain respect through consistent
committed action. Respect backed up by love builds trust, trust builds a
strong relationship that can stand the tests of life and time.
Women SAY they want a sensitive man. Truth is, if you go around apologizing all
the time and crying frequently then a woman will abuse you. Trust me, it is
NOT wise to do. This was well exemplified during the beach scene in the
movie Bedazzled, where the main character in the film was trying to woo his love
interest, his advice had been to "be more sensitive." Well, he
went so overboard, was so sensitive, that his love interest ended up walking
away with another dude with the assumption that they'd have meaningless
conversation and casual sex! Boy was HE surprised! Being overly
sensitive is a quick way to get shown the door. It is important to strike
a balance. Be strong, be there, yet share your emotions. Speak up and be real. Let them know you care.
But don't be a sissy.
Women say they want to be treated like an equal. This is not true.
Women want to be treated like a WOMAN. Not like a man. If she wanted
to be with a woman, she'd do that. She wants to be with YOU.
Therefore, be a MAN. This is not to be confused with being treated like a
piece of property, not to be confused with being treated with disrespect.
Women want to be respected! A woman wants to be respected for being
feminine, being a woman. Women are quite different from men. A man
who takes the time to understand the difference is a wise man. Bottom line here:
NO MORE Mr. NICE GUY. Be a REAL MAN, not a sensitive NICE GUY. Because the
nice guys usually do finish last.
still don't get it? Ok, then try this: be your own bad self. I
will say that some women are attracted to "Bad Boys". I think
there is a certain ruggedness to the bad boy - they break rules, they sometimes
behave rudely. But the true gentleman always remembers what matters
most. Have an air of mystique, but definitely be you. If, on
occasion, that means doing what you want, rather than what she wants, then do
it. Just don't make a continual habit of it - that's rude.
Women LOVE a man with a plan. Women love men with ambition.
Men who know who
they are, what we're doing tonight, and what we're doing with our life. If
you don't have a plan, get one. I have a plan (a) and plan
(b) ready at all times, so that no matter what, it will appear I'm fairly
spontaneous, but reality is I usually know where, when, and how the evening or
go. In dating, it is extremely important that you have a plan when you ask a
woman out. They will judge your sense of confidence by how well you have
thought out where you will take her and what you will do together. So,
think ahead, have a plan, then work that plan. While you're at it make
sure you have an alternative plan, too, in case she doesn't like the first
It is equally important for a man to know when to call
a woman's bluff and
let her know when she is pushing his limits. A man who just falls over and
laps at his woman's feet is a man who is called "whipped" for a
reason. An example is as follows: she asks, "what do you want
to do tonight," he says, "whatever you want to do." If this
is his consistent pattern, he's whipped. She won't respect him in the end.
Women want generous men. Don't be a tight-wad. Give the woman in your life gifts. Like the Chairman of the Board, Ol' Blue Eyes,
Frank Sinatra, used to say, "you gotta gift 'em." Well, I figure
good enough for Frank, good enough for me. After all, Frank was a MASTER
SWOONER. Guys, get this: Frank Sinatra went to Hollywood with a plan to
take a lengthy list of top actresses in his movie studio to bed at some
point during his career. As the story goes, he pretty much succeeded. Some
women will frown when they read this - but guys, I know what you're
thinking: "who did Frank get together with?" Well, how about Gina Lollobrigida
and Ava Gardner, for starters (I believe it was Angie Dickinson who
claimed to abstain). That's like saying Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, and
Charlize Theron to today's younger actor. So, maybe giving a gift once in
a while isn't such a bad idea. Just don't go broke trying to impress her!
After all, Frank Sinatra also had a stellar voice, plenty of swagger, and
loads of star power to go with his ability to buy a gift or two.
Nevertheless, small gifts, especially gifts that show you were listening
when she mentioned her favorite candy bar, or when she stopped at that
jewelry counter to admire those earrings (but put them back without buying
them), or how she commented on how she'd just love that dress in the
window of that snazzy clothing store. Well, use your own imagination. But
if you don't gift the woman in your life you'll probably be referred to by
the woman you love as "cheapskate".
"why," you ask, "do women care about gifts?" Good
question. The answer is that one way women relate is through giving gifts
- especially when you've paid attention to what they want. Women will gift exchange compliments
with each other, too. So just trust me and surprise her with a gift every
now and then and see if she doesn't respond favorably.
Be a true friend. LISTEN TO HER. Let her share her good times and problems with
you. Be there, rather than just promising to be there. Consistent
committed positive action is a definition of love. How do you show you are
a friend? Are you there when it matters most? Are you there for the small
Women want to be loved, despite their flaws, and need to be satisfied mentally,
emotionally, and spiritually as much as physically. Unconditional love would be ideal love. How can you love a woman without
judgment, conditions, or rules? How would you like to be
speaking, women define great sex differently than men, using words like soft
candlelight, light touch, then becoming more aggressive as their mood rises to
the occasion. A man, on the other hand, instantly rises to the
occasion. Women want men to be their lover instead of obsessing over their body to just get sex. Rather
than treat women as sex objects, treat them as someone to relate with; in
other words, a real person! That means taking your time, showing extra attention, and being tender in ways
with her to let her know she is special.
Women appreciate a man who is creative. Roses are nice. But
sometimes it is extra special to think of something that most guys wouldn't do
for a woman. It could be something frivolous, but if it is something that you
think SHE would like, then why not do it? You might have just made her
Women want men who offer a sense of security, to know that her partner will be there if she
becomes sick or when she grows old or flabby.
Giving a woman security is being there through
emotional and physical support. An example might be if she has to have
surgery. Take the day off and be there for her, hold her hand, and give
your full support to her. In other words, postpone that "tee
time"! Security comes from trust. Again, this is about
being able to rely in your strength of character.
Do you have a question relating to what women want?
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these 13 traits, how can men better relate to women?
First, men need to develop ways of listening more akin to how women
listen to each other. Women nod and
say "aha, wow, yes, uh-huh" much more than men do. Men listen more
quietly when they speak, and consider such mannerisms as an
interruption. Men may improve their chances if they are
interactive in conversation. Relate to them. Carry on the story with the
also need to cut the cheesy lines and just be genuine.
An example might be
how a man interacts with a woman in a bar scene. Instead of approaching
her with some line like "your mother must be beautiful - just look at
you," a man can be more genuine: "Nice restaurant, do you like
the food here?" would be a much better approach.
you are going to compliment a woman, pay attention to how women compliment
each other. Good examples include: new hairstyles, jewelry, sense of
style, great laugh. Poor examples would be her boobs, butt, or other body
parts. Again, that makes her feel like a sex object or piece of meat.
Relate and get the story behind that bracelet she's wearing. Use
"props" properly and you'll get positive proposition results!
challenge men have is the tendency to see a woman as his personal sex toy.
This is a real problem between men and women. He really needs to put aside
the sex issue and consider the deeper issues: how does he feel with
her? Does she make him laugh? Do they share common dreams and goals?
"Is he/she the one?" for
more information about this subject). When a man stops worrying about when
or how he will get a woman in bed, the odds for a successful relationship
need to appreciate a women for the effort she goes through to be beautiful for
him. A woman does not have to be a size 6 or have perfectly toned muscles
or large breasts to be a beautiful woman. It is important for women to
love their body (flaws and all), as this attitude creates confidence in herself
-- which is practically an aphrodisiac to a man. Appreciating what
women go through is a way to develop gratitude. An "attitude of
gratitude" goes a long way to improving a relationship. He can
compliment her and let her know she is beautiful to him and that she is
"perfect" to him.
men need to share in the responsibility of building a good relationship.
Helping make each day fun; living on purpose with aspirations, sharing the
good times, and taking on the crazy challenges life can present, is what makes relationships
note: the author of this article may not be certified as a
licensed psychotherapist -- please consult professional assistance as your