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Smooth Sailing

"How to Build Wonderful Relationships"
    By Scott Andrews, Founder



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Are you finding your relationships a struggle? Or mediocre? Or creating a path of destruction?


Many people are searching for ways to get along better. Not just boy-girl, man-woman stuff, I mean the people who you most prefer hanging out with.



So, who would you describe as your best friend?


Let's take a closer look. When I wrote this article, I interviewed eighty people over a period of six months to determine who they really cared the most about, and what matters most to them.

And, this is what I learned:

First, a friend with whom who we can share every little thing that goes on in our life.    And, they still accept us.  Someone who wants to hear about the little mundane details, and still thinks we're interesting.  We'd probably agree, this is a person who you can tell secrets to, and they won't blab.  Nobody likes a blabbermouth.

Second, someone who listens to us.  They actually try to understand us, once in a while.  Perhaps, letting us know we are important to them, too.  We know we are needed this way.  Being needed is nice.  Being understood, better.

Third, someone who I can totally mess up with.  I can even get out of line one in a while.  And, even though I was wrong, they forgive me and still love me.  Isn't that what being a friend is?  It is healthy to be honest about our thoughts and feelings.    But, sometimes, we carry this too far, and damage the friendship.  I appreciate a friend who will tell me when I've crossed over the line.  And, even more, I appreciate the friend who is still standing there, forgiving me, when it happens. Nobody is perfect.

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Fourth, friends who are based upon who they are, rather than how they look.  Some people actually want their friends to be "less" than them.  Perhaps, they have an acne problem or they are overweight or maybe not as "hot" looking.  This is often due to their own insecurity.  That is also an emphasis on what the "world" says is cool or good, versus looking within at who the person is.  I've seen this happen, especially, among single people.  Other people want a friend who is "better" than them.  (I don't personally believe any of us are worse or better than others, this is all superficial, but it does factor into most of our thinking.)  They might want a friend who is better, because then they feel they are more cool, attractive, or get noticed more  (especially by the opposite sex).   But forming friendships based upon a healthy self-esteem, focusing not on the warts, but on the warmth of spirit inside each person, is a key to having better relationships.

Last:  spiritual synchronicity.  Yes, this is normally something we might think would apply between friends between opposite sex, or lovers.  However, it also applies between bosom buddies.  We must at least be able to agree and/or disagree.  This doesn't mean we have to be the same religion.  It is simply fine to understand that we believe similar - or opposite ideas, regarding spirituality.  Spiritual synchronicity is that "connected" relating ability we have that happens when we say "aha!  I know just what you're talking about!  Or, I feel that way too!"   

Our friends are people who don't need us to be demanding, they just love us, regardless of who we are, or what we do.  

So, if you're seeking ways to build wonderful love relationships, try to follow these simple guidelines:

1. Be a friend with whom we can share every little thing that happens.

2. Be someone who listens.

3. Let the other person mess up and still love them anyway.

4. Be a friend based upon who someone is, not upon how they look.

5. Build upon your spiritual synchronicity by giving before you expect to get.


You may find each of your relationships building more love and creating the depth of satisfying relationship you had hoped for. Remember, in the words of the infamous Beatles, "All we need is love."


Please note:  the author of this article may not be certified as a licensed psychotherapist -- please consult professional assistance as your situation dictates.

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We welcome your comments and success stories around finding true love and making love more fun and abundant (feedback).


Scott Andrews is a life coach, business consultant, and CEO/Founder of AspireNow (www.AspireNow.com), a site helping people realize their business and personal aspirations. He is a speaker and the author of numerous articles and workbooks on business success, life purpose, smooth sailing relationships, and creating abundant lifestyles. He launched the first interactive self-help program on the Net, called the AspireNow Advisor.


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