Let's take a closer look. When
I wrote this article, I interviewed eighty people over a period of six
months to determine who they really cared the most about, and what matters most to them.
And, this is what I learned:
First, a friend with whom who we can share every little thing that goes on in
our life. And, they still accept us. Someone who wants
to hear about the little mundane details, and still thinks we're
interesting. We'd probably agree, this is a person who you can tell
secrets to, and they won't blab. Nobody likes a blabbermouth.
Second, someone who listens to us. They actually try to understand us,
once in a while. Perhaps, letting us know we are important to them,
too. We know we are needed this way. Being needed is nice.
Being understood, better.
Third, someone who I can totally mess up with. I can even get out of
line one in a while. And, even though I was wrong, they forgive me and
still love me. Isn't that what being a friend is? It is healthy
to be honest about our thoughts and feelings. But, sometimes, we carry this too
far, and damage the friendship. I appreciate a friend who will tell me
when I've crossed over the line. And, even more, I appreciate the friend
who is still standing there, forgiving me, when it happens. Nobody is perfect.
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Fourth, friends who are based upon who they are, rather than how they
look. Some people actually want their friends to be "less" than
them. Perhaps, they have an acne problem or they are overweight or maybe not
as "hot" looking. This is often due to their own
insecurity. That is also an emphasis on what the "world" says is
cool or good, versus looking within at who the person is. I've seen this
happen, especially, among single people. Other people want a
friend who is "better" than them. (I don't personally believe
any of us are worse or better than others, this is all superficial, but it does
factor into most of our thinking.) They might want a friend who is better,
because then they feel they are more cool, attractive, or get noticed more
(especially by the opposite sex). But forming friendships based upon
a healthy self-esteem, focusing not on the warts, but on the warmth of spirit
inside each person, is a key to having better relationships.
Last: spiritual synchronicity. Yes, this is normally something we
might think would apply between friends between opposite sex, or lovers.
However, it also applies between bosom buddies. We must at least be able
to agree and/or disagree. This doesn't mean we have to be the same
religion. It is simply fine to understand that we believe similar - or
opposite ideas, regarding spirituality. Spiritual synchronicity is that
"connected" relating ability we have that happens when we say
"aha! I know just what you're talking about! Or, I feel that
Our friends are people who don't need us to be demanding, they just love us,
regardless of who we are, or what we do.
So, if you're seeking
ways to build wonderful love relationships, try to follow these simple
1. Be a friend with whom we can share
every little thing that happens.
2. Be someone who listens.
3. Let the other person mess up and still
love them anyway.
4. Be a friend based upon who someone is,
not upon how they look.
5. Build upon your spiritual
synchronicity by giving before you expect to get.
You may find each of your relationships
building more love and creating the depth of satisfying relationship you
had hoped for. Remember, in the words of the infamous Beatles, "All we
need is love."
note: the author of this article may not be certified as a
licensed psychotherapist -- please consult professional assistance as your