Have
you ever been called judgmental? How about a gossip? Highly
critical? A cynic? Or a pessimist?
The
odds were, if you were called that, you were probably displaying a non-accepting
attitude. And, to be sure, the person who called you this was being
judgmental.
One
of the key steps to discovering our purpose (or at the least a major block to
living it) is learning to accept others.
By
acceptance, this does not mean that we condone nasty behavior. Nor does it
mean remaining in a situation damaging to our self-esteem due to someone else's
problems.
Acceptance
means recognizing and showing appreciation for our differences.
If we hold up our hand we may glimpse an instantly recognizable characteristic
demonstrating our uniqueness: our fingerprints. Each person has a
unique thumb-print, no matter what race, gender, age or size. Respecting
each person for their uniqueness is simply what we would like from them, so we
must give it out first.
The
opposite of acceptance is judgment. Judgments leads to fear. Judgments
lead to anger. Anger leads to conflict, which can lead to a battle or war.
How many lawsuits would be avoided if people refrained from speaking ill of
others? The word "libel" would no longer be relevant in our
society. How many atrocities, from rape to genocide, have been committed
because of differences in race, culture or religion? Yet, there are many
races, cultures and religions. How many wars would be avoided if the
people from both sides practiced acceptance rather than judgment? To live in the
New World, we will need to
accept these differences and send love, rather than judgment, to help build
understanding of others.
One
method to track how often we judge is to keep an "anti-judgment
journal." In the journal, note how often we pass judgment over the
course of a week. Even if you do not verbalize the judgment, write it
down. You might be surprised how often you judge others. I sure was
surprised when I first did this exercise -- we can all stand to improve our
acceptance of others and situations. In the anti-judgment journal, keep
track of any negative or judgmental thought, including thoughts or statements
about your current environment, your living situation, your job, your friends,
your lovers or ex-lovers, and family. Include thoughts about politics or other
events.
There
is an old saying that the first step to recovery is acknowledgment.
Writing down these thoughts is your acknowledgment. Don't be discouraged,
because this is the first step to learning to accept these things and remove the
judgment.
At
the end of each day, write down the opposite thought (acceptance) for
each of your judgments you wrote down, in a separate journal. By the end
of the week, you may have identified 80% of the things you judge. Imagine
what will happen in your life when you learn to accept those 80% instead
of reject them. This will shine a light on the things you worry about, the
people who bother you, and those who you need to forgive. Try it and then
make sure to do the step of acceptance/opposite thought. You will then
have a blueprint plan for improving your life. Simply adopt the acceptance
journal comments as your new belief structure.
When
we are judging we have a hard time loving. Since love is a key to
discovering and living our purpose, then judgment is a block.
In
accepting others, I do not mean accepting negative situations or being
apathetic; on the contrary, accepting is simply freeing your mind of the
negative thoughts that can distract you from living in authenticity.
Some
things were meant to be rejected from our lives, but in love, not judgment.
In
releasing others from judgment, it can be helpful to pray, forgive, or even ask
for forgiveness from those who wronged us. Often, when we've been wronged,
we also wronged someone else. How about releasing the judgment to
God. It simply isn't our place to judge. Our ego may wrestle with
the idea of asking another for forgiveness, by insisting we were right or
justified to say or do what we did. Even if we failed to accept in the
past, we can start to accept today. The path to acceptance may seem lined
with thorns, but in reality it is the only healthy path to take.
Sometimes,
our biggest block to forgiveness is not anger, but guilt. So examine your
own heart, too, and forgive yourself first, so that you can forgive others.
Utilize
acceptance to enable your path to success. Acceptance is the only path
towards positive change. And, we cannot accept if we're too busy
judging. Clear the judgment and you free the space to accept. The
journey can begin today. If you have felt blocked regarding discovering
your purpose, building a loving relationship, or finding a better job, or
creating a life of abundance, then discovering the freedom in acceptance may
certainly put you back on the path.
You
have all the power within you to judge or accept. The choice is
yours. You are wonderful in who you are today. You are loved and
accepted. Find the acceptance and you will find your joy.
We
review the more about our Spiritual Nature and The Purpose Question in our
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To
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how to discover and live your life on purpose, we have additional
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The
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The
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Life
Coaching by Scott Andrews, AspireNow Founder
People
report that living a life on purpose brings higher fulfillment, raised
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"I
think that everyone should read and re-read your [workbook articles] frequently. It
is easy to start with much gusto but we all need a reminder of our
direction." - Mary R. (GA, USA)
